Mother's Day brings about mixed emotions for me. Having lost my mother a little over two years ago, I tend to just want to skip the day entirely. Sometimes it's easy to forget that I'm not the child in the cycle anymore. I've lost my grandmother AND my mother, so basically, I'm the matriarch in my branch now. When I remember, it usually makes me mad...I get wrapped up in all that I am missing out on. I start to pity myself because I am no one's baby anymore. And that hurts more than anything. This is why I prefer to skip it...I hate sinking low and attending self pity parties. Everyday is a day full of memories for me. I don't want to spend a whole day bathed in them, even though most are great. However, that is selfish. I don't want to rob my own children of the chance to celebrate it with me. Mother's day isn't really a day to sit and congratulate yourself on what a great mother you are...its a day for your family to spoil you, and shower you with love. So, I will look forward to spending the day tomorrow surrounded by the four little darlings that call me Mommy.
I was reading a blog last night written by Beth Moore's daughter, Amanda. She was talking about all of the women from her childhood that took care of and helped shape her and her sister, most especially while her mom was away speaking. She called them Village moms. Of course, that was loosely taken from the old African proverb, "It takes a village to raise a child." I started thinking about who my Village moms were/are.
There were so many women who influenced my life, but I believe the two who have had the greatest impact did most of the influencing in my adult life, after my mom died. I can even recall the exact moment I thought to myself, these women are special. These women care about me. They are mothers to their core. They love me just because I'm me...not because they have to. Not because we are related by birth or by marriage. They love me...just Cindy...and it was a profoud moment.
During the church provided meal, before my mom's funeral is when Betty Bedgood and Glenda Anderson became my Village moms. They saw behind whatever expression I had pasted on my face, and knew I was in need. I don't think they ever probably had that thought or even the intention, but because God gave them a mothering soul, they both stepped into that role for me, effortlessly.
Betty Bedgood is my encourager. She believes in me. She has always told me I could do anything, even when I seriously debated that with her. I doubted myself and told her I couldn't. She said "I beg to differ." She pushed me to want to be better, do more, expect more, learn more, have more confidence, and to hold my tongue when I let it too loose. She praised me but also wasn't afraid to tell me when I was in error. I believe if it wasn't for her confidence in me over the past years, I would still be so shy that I couldn't function in a social setting on my own. She is a true believer and Christ follower above everything else, but also civic minded, involved in a little bit of everything, and totally in love with her husband. What an incredible role model and I am proud to think of her as my Village mom.
Glenda Anderson calls me all of those little names that make me feel like a child again. When I hear her call me "Sweet girl" it takes me to a place inside myself that I hardly ever feel anymore. She mothers me in a physical, nurturing way. Her hugs and squeezes, her need to "do" for me, her genuine care for me and for my family. She loves me. She makes me feel like I don't have to do anything at all to earn her love, I just have to be myself. She loves my children. She is their GiGi and so proud to be, even though there is no family tie. When I am in her presence, my shoulders sink about three inches because I just feel safe and loved and relaxed with her. She is my Village mom. No, actually, she is my Village Momma.
So, tomorrow will be sad for me in some ways, but happy in others. Instead of being jealous of all the women spending the day with their moms tomorrow, or gushing about how lucky they are, I will spend the day thanking God for the grandmother who was my best friend, my mother who loved me like no other person in this world ever has, for the gifts that He has given me in allowing me to mother Madyson Laine, Audrey Ann, Aaron Mac and Brody Jack and by his grace, one or two more to come. I will thank him for all of the women who have played a role in mothering me, including my two Village moms. I love you Betty and GiGi.
Proverbs 31:10-31:
A good woman is hard to find,
and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve,
and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful, she treats him generously
all her life long.
She shops around for the best yarns and cottons,
and enjoys knitting and sewing.
She's like a trading ship that sails to faraway places
and brings back exotic surprises.
She's up before dawn, preparing breakfast
for her family and organizing her day.
She looks over a field and buys it,
then, with money she's put aside, plants a garden.
First thing in the morning, she dresses for work,
rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.
She senses the worth of her work,
is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.
She's skilled in the crafts of home and hearth,
diligent in homemaking.
She's quick to assist anyone in need,
reaches out to help the poor.
She doesn't worry about her family when it snows;
their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.
She makes her own clothing,
and dresses in colorful linens and silks.
Her husband is greatly respected
when he deliberates with the city fathers.
She designs gowns and sells them,
brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops.
Her clothes are well-made and elegant,
and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.
When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say,
and she always says it kindly.
She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,
and keeps them all busy and productive.
Her children respect and bless her;
her husband joins in with words of praise:
"Many women have done wonderful things,
but you've outclassed them all!"
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.
The woman to be admired and praised
is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.
Give her everything she deserves!
Festoon her life with praises!
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