Not Your Typical Book Review!

Not your typical book review of

Mom Connection: Creating Vibrant Relationships in the Midst of Motherhood

by Tracey Bianchi

A while back, MOPS International asked moms who blog for help reviewing their new theme book for the 2102-2013 MOPS year, calling it a Mom Blogger Book Tour.  They offered to send two books, one for the reviewer to keep and one to give away to another mom.  Some of you know me well enough to know the three things there in that offer that drew me in.  #1) I love MOPS.  It was really a life changer for me.  #2) I am a sucker for anything free.  #3) I LOVE books written for moms!  I volunteered and was glad when they chose me! 

Getting packages in the mail excites me like a child on Christmas morning, so I was tickled pink the day my mailbox was holding that beautiful brown package.  I brought it in and unwrapped it, while fighting off the dogpile of children begging to open it for me.  (Away littles!  Go find a juice pouch and a snack!  Sigh...its no use.  Their intelligence is evolving...drats!)  Plan B, as is always my plan B, go hide in my bathroom.  If you are a mom, and most of you are, you know how well this works...they smell my absence and within moments the first knock comes.  Two more knocks and a jiggle of the doorknob later, I've finally barked enough of a demand for privacy to at least scare them away for, like, two minutes.  That's all I need though.

Commence first impression of the book, Mom Connection: Creating Vibrant Relationships in the Midst of Motherhood by Tracey Bianchi:

The cover boasts a picture of two cups of coffee and a shared piece of chocolate dessert.  Very nice in theory, but I have two problems with this.  First, a shared piece of dessert???  Really?  We share food with our darlings all day long.  If we manage rare moments alone with a friend to have coffee and dessert, none of the mom friends I know, plan on sharing!  Two, from my experience, a more realistic photo would have been of what I call "car talk."  Car talk is those last minutes right before you go back inside your home, the last few minutes together where you decide its now or never to really share with each other.  And always, ALWAYS, there is a Sonic drink involved.  And after this brief observation, my time in the my bathroom hideaway has come to an end, when the next knock on the bathroom door is from my husband. 

I then offer up the free copy of this book to all of my social media friends.  To my old MOPS group, to my new MOPS group and to all moms I share life with on Facebook.  No one bites...and after a second offer about a week later, still no one is interested.  Finally, about a week later one of my dear friends sends me a quiet message late one night asking if I still have it.  Yes, dear friend...its yours!  She deals with some of the same crazy I deal with so I am so glad she asked for it.  (Dear friend, I'll mail it soon, I promise!)

A few days later and about half way into the book, I am really inspired to get out of my comfort zone and reach out to the group of new moms I've recently joined in MOPS.  I have never ever been the kind of outgoing, social butterfly that makes friends easily.  I am painfully shy and reserved.  I prefer to stay home and in my jammies and not ever risking the chance to feel ignored, unimportant, unworthy or overlooked by other women.  Unfortunatley, in order to find those few friends that become sisters, you have to put yourself out there and risk meeting the ones who will treat you that way, in order to find the ones that will be there for you through thick and thin.

Chapter 2, entitled Teeter Totter: Moving Beyond Competition to Connection, starts with a quote from C.S. Lewis that speaks so much truth, "Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What!  You too?  I thought I was the only one.'"  This chapter was one of my favorites as it hits me most personally.  Its like a great Bible lesson.  It doesn't matter how many times you read it, it always speaks to you again and again, at different times, in different seasons of life, and always at the right time, when you need it most! 

Motherhood can be so lonely.  I use to harp on this so much when I was coordinator for MOPS.  It really is lonely, and there is no way around it...but we certainly don't have to make it harder on ourselves than it has to be.  We crave relationship and connection with other women, but when it comes down to the setting of alarms, and waking up early when you don't have to, showering (gasp!,) getting dressed in clothes that aren't a hundred years old or covered in stains, fixing your hair and makeup, PLUS bathing the kids, packing bags with one extra of everything that they could possibly need on the outing plus a few other things just because, making sure they have enough to eat before you leave so that they don't arrive in meltdown status, making sure they have a sippy and a snack bag for the trip so that they don't drive you crazy on the ride, more food for when you arrive just in case, a stroller or two, your purse, your keys, your drink, your cell phone, bug spray, sunscreen, this list could go on and on...its really a wonder we ever make it out of the house when we HAVE to, much less when we have a choice.  It's a LOT OF WORK to reach out for friendship.  The benefits we gain from the connections we make are worth so much, though...I really am the world's worst at reaching out but I will also be the loudest one preaching about how important it is. 

After reading chapter 2, I organized a playdate in my home and invited about 20 moms (mostly from my new MOPS group) and their littles over to play and have lunch.  I did it before I had a chance to chicken out.  This also meant I had to clean up and try NOT to think about all the clutter and mismatched furniture I own and worry about WHAT they will THINK!  In the end, only 3 moms came but we had a really nice time visiting with each other.  I made one new friend and got to know the other two a little better.  Next time we get together, we will have a little bit more of a history together to build on. 

Chapter 11, Triple Dog Dare: Can We Really Live This Out? was another personal favorite, as it was kind of a step 2 to chapter 2.  This chapter, I believe, in a nutshell says, "Be the kind of friend to others that you want them to be to you."  If they have a need you can fill, fill it.  If they seem stressed, ask them if you can help lighten their load.  If their arms are full, offer to help carry a bag or if you are really lucky, their baby.  If their children are sick, be worried about them and show you care.  If you see they are struggling financially, bless them.  If you can see they need a date night out in a bad way, offer to keep their children.  If you get invited to a party, show up to it if it's possible.  If they need to vent and unload during an inconvient time for you, let them anyway, and make them feel like you have all the time in the world.  If you know they love soda, buy an extra one while you are out and drop it by, on your way to wherever you are headed.  (Just ask if you need my address!)  Basically, just get outside of your own little world and see the needs around you.  You don't have to rearrange your life to be a good friend.  Sometimes the smallest things mean the most. 

This book is not ground breaking in any way.  Its more of a gentle and encouraging reminder to live life.  Its a whisper in your ear telling you that you CAN do this.  You CAN survive this thing we call motherhood but you can't do it alone.  Don't take it all on yourself.  It's too much.  Reach out and connect with others.  After all, if we are going to be crazy, at least we can be crazy together!

...So let us run the race that is before us and never give up!...  Hebrews 12:1

To order your own copy of this book, visit here:
http://www.amazon.com/Mom-Connection-Creating-Relationships-Motherhood/dp/0800721152/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1336603727&sr=1-1